The Boy Of Steel

When we last left Jimmy Olsen three of the same story did not get anything resembling a satisfying conclusion. I got over a million signatures on a petition demanding DC patch Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen #16, they relented, but all we got was a slide show. We also got today's story, The Boy Of Steel, but before that we've got some ads. 

Don't make me choose!

This is total bullshit, I sent in the coupon nearly six months ago and I still haven't gotten my merchandise!

Apologies for extreme lateness...The Three Lives Of Jimmy Olsen

I'm sorry guys this isn't movie night. I've been sick lately and my enthusiasm for that has kind of waned. Instead... Jimmy Olsen!


Superman like many rappers felt the need to help his friends break into his business despite them more often than not having little talent.  Like Superman's stalker Lois Lane Daily Planet cub reporter  Jimmy Olsen was given his own solo title. 

Jimmy is the photographer/print boy/everyone's bitch for the Daily Planet. He's one of that strange breed of comic orphans who seem to be have never had parents, or many parents who died in mutually incompatible ways. A similar case is Spider-Man, who usually would lead a reader to believe he was just kind of  spontaneously generated to be his aunt and uncle's nephew. Or maybe his parents were spies or robots I don't know. If I had to estimate his actual age I'd say early twenties, despite looking and acting like a thirteen year old. And not a bright thirteen year old. 


Now when I said solo title earlier there should be an asterisk next to it.  You see Jimmy's  kind of a spazz, so much so that Superman gave him a watch that emits a irritating shriek that only he can  suffer. A noble sacrifice because the simplest of tasks were beyond the boy. One time Superman let him get milk out of the fridge on his own and life still can't exist in that apartment building. So basically the comic Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen consisted of him getting himself into trouble and using his Superman dog whistle to summon his terrible Kryptonian wrath. 

Not the most interesting premise really so why are we here? Because the trouble Jimmy Olsen got into was fucking insane. Even by the standards of an era where Superman gained the power to shoot a tiny version of himself out of his hand! Let that sink in for a moment. . 

Jimmy spent most of his time being twisted in ways that would be quite horrific if it wasn't so hilarious to behold. In his "career" he had to lose so many superpowers that in early copies of the X-men titles after House Of M there were mistaken references  to a "Jimmy Olsen Day". 

Enough talk, into the void my friends!

"Superman have you considered how our relationship will be affected by this life changing-stop snickering!"

I don't get why Superman looks so surprised by this, by that point it was pretty hard to run into Jimmy on a day when he wasn't some kind of super-being.  

Odds and Sods 1#: Racism And Other Strange And Fruity Adventures

I'm so late with this, my apologies, so we don't miss out on the usual stupid comic experience this week I thought we'd do something different. Odds and sods is for things that can't support entire posts on their own, or stuff from issues of anthology books I've already covered but didn't have the time or energy to do in full. Or anything  else I feel like. Movie Night is still coming by the way. 

The Planet That Advanced Backwards!

The tale we are about to enjoy (or "enjoy") comes to us from a DC anthology book called Strange Adventures. Strange Adventures was a science fiction anthology that ran for two hundred and forty issues and introduced some fairly important characters. One such figure was  Captain Comet, a man who's a million years more evolved than present day humans and so adapted to hotter, wetter environs with many more thumbs for smart phone operation. Kidding, he was your standard Superman rip off. Another was the pre-Grant Morrison version of Animal Man, who used his animal mimicry to be a Superman rip off  and a foot note in articles about Grant Morrison's version.  

We'll be covering neither character today, instead:

"Now at one sixth light-speed it'll take us a couple of decades subjective time to get literally anywhere so I hope we all went to the bathroom." 

Yeah what possible reason could a society have to not last forever and ever? Bronze Age Collapse, fall of the Roman Empire, never heard of them!

Also that is one cramped interstellar space vessel. Barely enough room for a box of corn-beef sandwiches and a family sized bottle of lemonade. And so cramped, don't think you'll be able to crack open a window to air out a fart. Well maybe if it's a really, really, really bad one. 

Something I've noticed is oddly consistent in Silver Age depictions of the future, one that kind of disturbs me. Namely that little boys won't be allowed to wear pants, why? Are we trying to toughen them up for their inevitable drafting into the Sky Marines?  And don't tell me those are shorts, they're freaking undies. Perhaps we were trying to make sure kids were glad they wouldn't survive into this era. Wait the co-creator of Robin wrote this, all makes sense.