The Boy Of Steel

When we last left Jimmy Olsen three of the same story did not get anything resembling a satisfying conclusion. I got over a million signatures on a petition demanding DC patch Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen #16, they relented, but all we got was a slide show. We also got today's story, The Boy Of Steel, but before that we've got some ads. 

Don't make me choose!

This is total bullshit, I sent in the coupon nearly six months ago and I still haven't gotten my merchandise!

Apologies for extreme lateness...The Three Lives Of Jimmy Olsen

I'm sorry guys this isn't movie night. I've been sick lately and my enthusiasm for that has kind of waned. Instead... Jimmy Olsen!


Superman like many rappers felt the need to help his friends break into his business despite them more often than not having little talent.  Like Superman's stalker Lois Lane Daily Planet cub reporter  Jimmy Olsen was given his own solo title. 

Jimmy is the photographer/print boy/everyone's bitch for the Daily Planet. He's one of that strange breed of comic orphans who seem to be have never had parents, or many parents who died in mutually incompatible ways. A similar case is Spider-Man, who usually would lead a reader to believe he was just kind of  spontaneously generated to be his aunt and uncle's nephew. Or maybe his parents were spies or robots I don't know. If I had to estimate his actual age I'd say early twenties, despite looking and acting like a thirteen year old. And not a bright thirteen year old. 


Now when I said solo title earlier there should be an asterisk next to it.  You see Jimmy's  kind of a spazz, so much so that Superman gave him a watch that emits a irritating shriek that only he can  suffer. A noble sacrifice because the simplest of tasks were beyond the boy. One time Superman let him get milk out of the fridge on his own and life still can't exist in that apartment building. So basically the comic Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen consisted of him getting himself into trouble and using his Superman dog whistle to summon his terrible Kryptonian wrath. 

Not the most interesting premise really so why are we here? Because the trouble Jimmy Olsen got into was fucking insane. Even by the standards of an era where Superman gained the power to shoot a tiny version of himself out of his hand! Let that sink in for a moment. . 

Jimmy spent most of his time being twisted in ways that would be quite horrific if it wasn't so hilarious to behold. In his "career" he had to lose so many superpowers that in early copies of the X-men titles after House Of M there were mistaken references  to a "Jimmy Olsen Day". 

Enough talk, into the void my friends!

"Superman have you considered how our relationship will be affected by this life changing-stop snickering!"

I don't get why Superman looks so surprised by this, by that point it was pretty hard to run into Jimmy on a day when he wasn't some kind of super-being.